Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize