I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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