youre lurking in front of me
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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