I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
