one two three fourrrrnication!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
