The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
