Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
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If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
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so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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