i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
