You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
try to milk me bitch
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