AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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