whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
