dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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