I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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