I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
