okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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