Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
