Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
