I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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