i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
