I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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