Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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