I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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