I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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