Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
