i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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