Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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