I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
