I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
