I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
