have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
