He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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