no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
