Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
