We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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