dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
