I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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