Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
