my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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