Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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