I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
vagina is talking i cant
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea