Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.

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  (913): Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline. http://tfl.nu/h7vn
  Replies (15) Good night (3170) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.

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  (651): He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient. http://tfl.nu/9tdu
  Replies (19) Good night (1261) Bad night (6660)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?

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  (412): Why are there maracas in the dishwasher? http://tfl.nu/o2j7
  Replies (14) Good night (5425) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..

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  (519): you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism.. http://tfl.nu/640h
  Replies (2) Good night (2453) Bad night (1188)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars

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  (206): college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars http://tfl.nu/qdtl
  Replies (9) Good night (1564) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.

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  (580): He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages. http://tfl.nu/hdcq
  Replies (4) Good night (1742) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?

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  (570): there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i? http://tfl.nu/asxg
  Replies (5) Good night (1832) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.

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  (314): No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was. http://tfl.nu/6619
  Replies (2) Good night (1506) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.

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  (970): Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced. http://tfl.nu/7rns
  Replies (14) Good night (2298) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.

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  (503): My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies. http://tfl.nu/5aky
  Replies (5) Good night (526) Bad night (1206)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.

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  (540): I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end. http://tfl.nu/cc0x
  Replies (4) Good night (1356) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame

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  (303): Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame http://tfl.nu/4ytk
  Replies (2) Good night (763) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.

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  (714): Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/n1sj
  Replies (2) Good night (911) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...

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  (612): We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game... http://tfl.nu/bxkh
  Replies (2) Good night (587) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!

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  (229): I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often! http://tfl.nu/jvd4
  Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (128)

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