Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it

Fav 1 1368 736
share tweet
(650): View more from California

i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug

Fav 25 3493 971
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.

Fav 11 7068 976
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.

Fav 33 1439 2969
share tweet
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(702): View more from Nevada

And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse

Fav 11 1603 3520
share tweet
(813): View more from Florida

So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?

Fav 37 6813 2194
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.

Fav 5 3256 1341
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.

Fav 1 558 716
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.

Fav 2 555 172
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT