Texts From Last Night

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  (213): View more from California

  What happened to our ballroom dancing plans

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  (213): What happened to our ballroom dancing plans http://tfl.nu/sshq
  Replies (1) Good night (758) Bad night (910)
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  (805): View more from California

  I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.

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  (805): I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/p5hg
  Replies (8) Good night (2102) Bad night (2969)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.

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  (908): Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat. http://tfl.nu/zq2c
  Replies (22) Good night (1403) Bad night (3580)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?

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  (978): I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to? http://tfl.nu/b64u
  Replies (21) Good night (4227) Bad night (724)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF

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  (520): just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF http://tfl.nu/k653
  Replies (19) Good night (805) Bad night (3922)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.

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  (303): Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel. http://tfl.nu/te56
  Replies (10) Good night (6694) Bad night (1044)
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  (310): View more from California

  he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed

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  (310): he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed http://tfl.nu/t2n3
  Replies (15) Good night (2872) Bad night (1601)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.

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  (215): he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out. http://tfl.nu/9ic8
  Replies (8) Good night (4735) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.

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  (916): She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared. http://tfl.nu/d52d
  Replies (14) Good night (918) Bad night (2518)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.

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  (254): By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook. http://tfl.nu/9v3n
  Replies (8) Good night (1984) Bad night (544)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.

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  (360): Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour. http://tfl.nu/4726
  Replies (2) Good night (1372) Bad night (432)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.

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  (+44): When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone. http://tfl.nu/uct6
  Replies (4) Good night (500) Bad night (1183)
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  (858): View more from California

  He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him

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  (858): He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him http://tfl.nu/yvui
  Replies (12) Good night (2300) Bad night (677)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester

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  (309): yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester http://tfl.nu/2w28
  Replies (2) Good night (492) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Do one night stands count towards my number?

  (516): View more from New York

  Yes. A penis is a penis

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Even bad ones?

  (516): View more from New York

  YES.

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  (217): Do one night stands count towards my number? (516): Yes. A penis is a penis (217): Even bad ones? (516): YES. http://tfl.nu/iyle
  Replies (0) Good night (546) Bad night (322)

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