I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She told me I should be a condom model.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
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