tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.