we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂