Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Randomize
Follow @tfln