I just made out with a guy for $7.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ