Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(501): View more from Arkansas

thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.

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(678): View more from Georgia

it's not cheating when I paid for it

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.

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(903): View more from Texas

He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?

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(207): View more from Maine

So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"

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(734): View more from Michigan

Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that

(517): View more from Michigan

Speaking

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.

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