Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
