Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
