I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
