K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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