You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
