put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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