I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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