she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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