i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
