Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
