Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
