i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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