And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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