I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize