I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
