OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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