i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
