You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
