Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize