i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
