it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
