you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
