I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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