One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
