Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize