Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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