He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
