Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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