So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
