there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
This is my gift to your gina
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
